Abby’s Birthday Party

He woke up in the middle of the night to a whisper in his ears. The whisper was so soft that all he could hear was mumbling. A sense of fear ran through his veins and shook him. He wants to know what was said to him. All he could see was darkness around but with a spotlight on him. It was pure emptiness. He stood up and screamed to nothing. All he said echoed like he was trapped. He would run all the way but the spotlight never left him. He was alone with his own shadow. First time in life he was scared of his own shadow. He keeps on walking hoping to find someone or something to be exact of his existence.

Suddenly, the spotlight shifts and he saw a glass of wine. He could be relieved or surprised and goes near the glass. He picks up the filled glass to find out that was not wine but blood. He spills the glass with blood on his feet and runs fast to find a door. The boy, relieved opens up the door and enters into a sudden roar of “Happy Birthday”. His friends had planned for surprise birthday party. He surely was surprised but more to what just happened. He checked the door again in fear only to find out for it is the hallway. He wiped his eyes with relief realizing it to be a bad dream.

He just turned 18 and it was like a Thanksgiving altogether. Too much of food and wine and great music. While the music played on, it was 12 in the night and the party was getting over. People started moving out. There was one guy in the party who had no one to go with, so he offered him a ride home. The guy was new to him and he believed him to be his friend’s friend. He introduced himself as Abby. He walked with and discussed how he is renowned in school but he wondered, why his name was never known to him. He shared his pictures with him so he was convinced. Abby told all kinds of stories but at some point, he started talking about God and His existence. Abby was turning out to be a bit skeptical on the existence of God to which boy had no replies. The boy tried to change the topic to avoid an argument and turned on the radio. The radio wasn’t catching any signals and night was darker than usual. Thankfully, he was getting close to Abby’s home so he was somewhat relieved. To his surprise, once he reached his home, he said: “The Gates of Hell are opened”. Then he started laughing weirdly with his shiny teeth and gets off the car. The boy asks full name of the guy. He introduced himself as Abaddon, “the fallen angel of death” and says that it’s my birthday too with a wide smile on his face.

The boy thought him to be the crazy guy and started driving back. While he looked in the rearview mirrors was disfigured images and ignored it blaming the sleep depravity and wine. But he couldn’t get his mind of what the guy said: “The Gates of Hell are opened”. He reached his home to find a glass of wine and tries to sip in the wine and he spills it on his shoes. He drops down as well on the floor with everything fading in front of his eyes with Abby’s voice in his ears fading away.

He wakes up again with the same faded voice in the same dark place as he had dreamt before and finds the wine glass with blood at the same place with the door.

The Hell’s Gates have been opened indeed !!

The Change : Harish Kannan to Hari Narayanan

A nine year old boy gazing out of the window on hearing the school bell ring for end of the school didn’t have that sparkling gaze as everyone and just a sense of motion to go and catch the bus and reach the creche on time to see his 3 year old brother and wait for the parents till 6 or 7. The only thing that made the boy happy was family and he felt nothing. The boy didn’t talk much to people and so much absorbed in his own world. His growth over the years had been dealing with anxiety and trying to survive among the brilliant souls around him and just imagining if he would be somewhere near them in coming years. He worked hard but was never smart enough to make the hard work count. At the age of fifteen, was introduced to AC/DC, Metallica, Led Zeppelin, Eminem and much more(courtesy of Abhishek). Well, you could say another distraction but little did the boy know. The heart pumped so fast when Kirk Hammet strums his strings to Master of Puppets with James Hetfield on vocals or when Robert Plant sings to Jimmy Page’s face-melting solos. The music was heavenly and was he could care about nothing else. When such good things are there in the world, your parents make you realize that world ain’t sunshine and rainbows so we gotta do something in life. That something always meant concentrating on studies. He dreams only to realize that he is going nowhere near it. He would see people getting through with good grades and teacher’s favorites enjoying the time. 

After a period of time, things changed this boy wanted or maybe needed to be good at something or at least good enough to stand up his own ground. He changed his school with a changed name. Everything is new. As Barney Stinson says: “New is always better”. A bit late but this new guy wanted to know about himself, he wanted to know if he was shy or an introvert. The question was on how to achieve that, so he had to open up and speak. He started taking part in debates and hosting events and he wasn’t that good but better than what he expected. The beginnings would be with heart racing at a million beats per second, hands ice-cold and trembling legs and then turn into a piece of cake. After just a little confidence he dreams of getting into great colleges but yeah as I said he was late to grow so couldn’t make it into great leagues as everyone but he tried to do well in college and he significantly better than expected. This small success changed him and allowed him to be better than he was before. This guy who was the introvert now works hard and parties harder. He has now traveled places, tried a hand on salsa(or I’d say shook a leg) and looks for places he can improve and be better.

I know, everything I mentioned is not an achievement and everyone has done wonders in their lives but I was never better than what I am today.

P.S.: Metallica Rules and Hala Madrid !!




A Friend In Deed

Now, the guy you see in the picture is not a guitarist nor does he have a sense of art in any way(as far as I know) but I’d call him the most motivated person that I have met, Shivam Pandey. He is one of my best friends I have ever had. I still remember the first time I met him, we were in class 6th, St. Fidelis College. He joined recently and saw him with his oversized blazer(something that middle-class would understand) and we used to play tag near the backstage auditorium of our school. We became friends because of Samrendra who left a year later. This is a guy who still calls after 31st March at 11:59 to fool you for the April Fool’s Day and I am way too gullible. A person who is into too much of Cricket and being a fast bowler, he bowls really well but didn’t have the exposure that he should have got but still didn’t back down and bowls extremely well. He would get really ecstatic after taking the wicket and would pump up like Sreesanth(his one of his favorites back then). I, Abhishek and him was a bunch of weirdos(in a positive way), Abhishek being too much into studies(he got into IIT and now in Montreal for Ph.D.) and Shivam being good in sports(not in any Cricket team but pursuing M.Tech in NIT Nagpur). I can remember the time when we used to play air cricket. For those who don’t know, air cricket is played when you are in school and you don’t have a cricket bat or a ball. Still confused? , everyone was. We just used to bowl without a ball, just actions and the other person bats. And yes, we never had girlfriends.

There was a picture of Sachin Tendulkar on the notice board near the corridor. Every day after the assembly while we used to walk past it, he used to salute it every fucking time. He had too much admiration for Sachin and the sport and still has. We never had any interests in common as such, I used to listen to Led Zeppelin and Metallica and I still don’t know the music he likes. He would only be interested in stuff that is motivating which he will forget after some time and will find something new. He could be the most distracted person to be seen because he would do something that results in something else which he takes an input to get distracted by something else. Being very bad at handling computers as he would still mess up the video call for half n hour saying hello repeatedly pissing off me and Abhishek, where Abhishek mostly lose patience to drop off the call.

All being said, he could be one of the most kind-hearted soul I have met and been friends for around 13 Years. He has always been there somewhere that I can reach him. We talk seldom but we know each others value in life for we are now. A still can’t forget the time when used to study together for exams where we didn’t know crap but we did okay or we used to get disappointed together. He always stayed motivated to accomplish something in life. All the discussions under the street light after coachings on what to do life made us whatever we are today.

It’s friendship to treasure and he has been a friend in deed.

You kissed, my heart dropped !!

I wish I wouldn’t blink ever at the sight of you. The smile that I’d die for, a love that I crave for makes me lose sight of everything.
The time you kissed, my shaky shallow breaths couldn’t contain it itself and I pulled you towards me and kissed you back like there is no tomorrow.Her lips were so soft and gentle that I could keep kissing them for eternity. As her lips curled back on my lips, my heart shook and it wasn’t supposed to end.
The kiss was like a promise that you’ll be with me forever. A kiss on the forehead and every part of the body was an emotional feeling of being loved by someone like no-one
ever has done. You’d never want to miss it. She kissed me on my earlobes and her breath sent shivers through my body. I brushed her hair from the back of her head and kissed her neck, and she leaned her curvy body towards me and I held her in my arms and looked in eyes and said that I loved her. The moment was unforgettable as I leaned on her, and I was breathless and lost in the dreamy eyes and the pleasure that she exhibited was then most beautiful emotion that I could have felt.

Flash of Life and Death

It was all flowers on the way, the man with rugged clothes and shining bright teeth on the corner. Faces with big smiles acknowledging you on the way. The flags of different political parties flamed over the rooftops. It was a year ago, the same day. Now the alley is dark, No flowers but burnt gunpowder, the man in the corner is not smiling now but expressed fear that something might befall him. He was hungry but not for food but for the life that was being sucked off him. The people now are moving with heads down on the street with fear of the heads not being there itself. There is just one flag hoisted on the rooftops. Little did anyone know the flag was the tragedy that befell. That’s what happened when the leader changed.

Bob Marley said this:

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect—you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break—her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.” —Bob Marley

What would love be like ?

It might seem a bit cliché to write or think something like this but I think everyone once in their lifetime has had this question. Guys might think of it as lame, but other than talking or thinking about boobs every guy might have had this question run through their minds and most of them do expect to fall in love at least once in their life. We have this outer layer of insecurity that after falling in love all coolness they show off would disappear and they would move in some kind of prison where they can’t do things as they used to do before falling in love. So scoring chicks turns out to be cool and falling in love doesn’t.

I need to know the feeling that causes people to do insane things or what makes them see everything beautifully and even in darkest times they seem really happy. That love is different from all other kinds of love. I love my parents , they seems to be the most important person to me in my life now. Have I loved anyone like them? NO,Can I love any one like them? I don’t think so.But this love for my parents is because they have looked after me and fed me till my teenage. I don’t love my parents because I am supposed to love my parents. I love my parents because they love me.

But all this love is different. How do you fall in love that you  forget everything and the person you love is only thing in your mind? Never felt that. If you fall in love do you try to be some other person to please him/her, or you are able to be yourself only in-front of that person. How do you love a person whom you unaware for your whole life and suddenly you turn out to be unaware of world except that person?. People turn out to love a person who doesn’t love him/her back. How do you love a person who doesn’t love you back. Isn’t that infatuation? Or is this infatuation that lasts long enough to turn into love.Love can also be a process of liking someone to loving a person which only makes sense to me.

Love should be unconditional because without conditions you fall in Love, then why does that person wants to make a person their own just because they love them. If multiple people love a person then whose love will count? Can you measure one’s love for someone. If you can measure love that would have been so easy. Love should be something that allows you to care for someone even if he/she is not with you. If letting go keeps that person happy then let go, then that is love(What I believe to be). How does loving turn into such selfish feeling that you think only about your feelings for someone but not others feeling?

And then I wonder what is LOVE!!